Blog Series

Chemo-Induced Neuropathy – #59

If I sit in a seat with my feet hanging (not touching the floor), my feet would swell up from the tip my toes to the top of my ankles. I could walk out of my house shoes and would not know my shoes were not on my feet until the floor started getting cold to my feet. I have wood floors in every room except for the bathroom.  I had to put a rug on my side of the bed so I could stand on it long enough to take my house shoes off and get in bed.  At night, if I had to make a mad dash to the bathroom and could not get my house shoes on quickly enough, I would go to the bathroom without my house shoes. By the time I got back in the bed, my feet would be completely numb and a ball would form under the middle of my feet.  For some reason, it was worst at night when I laid down. The pain was endless. My enemy was chemo-induced neuropathy. It felt like my legs were wrapped in rubber bands all the way down to my toes and if I could just cut the rubber bands off, I would get the feeling back in my legs and feet. I would wiggle my toes just to see if I had any feelings in the lower part of my body.  This would go on until I went to sleep.   My hands were not just hurting with the cold, they were hurting all the time.  I thought the silverware was cold in the restaurants, but it was the metal that was causing my hands to be extra sensitive.  I felt self-conscious when holding someone’s hand in the prayer circle.  I could not tell if I was squeezing their hand really tight or barely holding onto their hand.  This went on constantly for several days.  I thought about it and decided not to go through with the 12th treatment.  I called the chemo doctor and he was fine with my decision.  Though I walk in the midst of trouble, You will revive me; You will stretch out Your hand Against the wrath of my enemies, and Your right hand will save me.  Psalm 138:7.

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