Blog Series

Endurance Is Not Temporary

As of today, I have completed my 8th chemo treatment. The Gabapentin is not doing anything to relieve the tingling in my fingers, feet and legs. I was told some unsettling information from the chemo doctor today. At my doctor’s visit last month, I was told that the tingling would go away.  Now he is telling me it could take 3 to 5 years or not go away.  One thing that has helped me through the phases of my journey was as long as I endured, everything would be fine.  Enduring to me was getting through the temporary colostomy and the temporary side effects of the chemo.  Notice I said temporary.  I never imagine anything would be for a period of years or indefinitely. My prayers were always to endure, give me the strength to endure. When I would ask for prayer, it would be, “Give me the strength to endure”. My typing was getting worse.  I could probably type 60 to 65 words per minute.  Now, I was making so many typing errors. As I examined myself, I found out my fingers were not making contact with the keyboard. I could not feel the raised markings on the “J” and “F” keys so I was always typing on the wrong keys.  I had to start looking down at the keyboard while typing with two fingers.  Now, I had little to no sense of smell, little to no sense of taste and continuous numbness of my fingers, feet and legs.  When I would go to the doctor, the nurse would ask me to rate my pain. My extremities would ache, but I would not rate the pain as high. My fingers, feet, and legs were just very sensitive to cold.  So, if the doctor’s office temperature was comfortable for my body, I did not have any pain.  We continued working on our messages from our understanding of the scriptures.  God’s word is so comforting.  We would study each scripture before commenting on anything to writing. The scriptures gave me peace and helped me to endure. Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

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