Saturday, June 23rd it is now 12:45 pm and it is my fourth visit to the bathroom with excessive bleeding. I wanted to monitor my bleeding, so I took pictures. I put on a pad for the first time. It felt like I had a pillow between my legs. I probably need to get smaller pads. I ended up using the restroom 10 times before I had no evidence of blood in the stool. Thank God!! I decided not to get the smaller pads at this time, bigger may be better:) I was going to the restroom and bleeding so much I was having to clean under the seat because the blood was splashing underneath the seat. About the sixth time, I forgot to clean underneath the seat. Rick came to me and told me I needed to make sure I cleaned under the seat, and I lost it!! It was as if every worry (that I thought I didn’t have), every concern (that I thought I didn’t have), and every doubt (that I thought I didn’t have) hit me all at once. I started crying and went outside. I was in the washroom crying and Rick came to comfort me. He was also crying and I thought to myself, “I’m going to have to be strong so Rick can be strong.” He was getting his strength from me and I was staying strong as long as he was standing strong. So, I said to myself “suck it up buttercup”. We were able to talk about it at dinner and again at breakfast. I asked Rick to start his corrective criticism with the phrase “baby I’m just trying to help you”. Then I will not be on the defense or so emotional with my response.
We were going to have to lean and depend on God to get through.
Joshua 1:9 says, “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go”.